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Andy's Surprise 40th Birthday Party
Picture
the scene: You're rounding off a week of celebrating your 40th birthday, following
a night on the piss with a few mates a week earlier and the odd private celebration
during the week, with a nice relaxing meal courtesy of the old man in a quiet
pub in the sticks. Then, on the way, "Bear with me son, just got to pop in
to this village hall to drop something off for some friends, why don't you
poke your head round the door to say hello…"
Seems
plausible doesn't it? I mean, it's not like you'd be opening the door to be
confronted with 60-odd people (losing the hyphen would be nearer the truth...),
all wearing a mask of your own face while your band plays on a stage behind
them with your brother on vocals? Couldn't happen could it? That would be
the stuff of a madman's dreams!…
Well,
that's what happened to our own Andrew William Nazer on February the 4th at
around 8pm, a moment that will surely stay with him forever. If nothing else,
the sight of all those people with the masks could have him waking up screaming
in years to come. I've still got mine incidentally, startled my mother with
it only yesterday morning when she came round to babysit my daughter. So anyway,
the party then: Against a backdrop, or should that be sidedrop, of the "Andy
Nazer - A Life In Pictures" slide show, there were bands, inevitably really,
this being an Andy Nazer birthday celebration.
First
off, there was the aforementioned band to greet Andy's entrance. Did I mention
it was Self Abuse? Well, Self Abuse in a manner of speaking… Sure, there was
Dave and Roger on guitars, but who's that on bass? Can't be Andy, he's over
there by the door doing an impersonation of Edvard Munch's Scream (the picture
on the back of the Kill The Poor 7" to you). Wait, it's Mr P, our very own
site administrator, roadie and all round jack of all trades! And that's definitely
not Steve drumming, not unless he's managed to grow a Misfits devil lock since
I last saw him. That'll be Dom Upchuck then! The biggest jaw dropper was the
vocalist though: Andy's very own brother Tony, who to my knowledge doesn't
have a history of this kind of thing, getting up on stage to sing Punk songs.
They only did the one, a hastily re-worded "Teenage". "Middle Age" I think
it was called. Couldn't sing the original lyrics of course, that would be
daft… hang on, they still do… oh well, if it's good enough for Charlie Harper…
The next popular
beat combo, about an hour later, was the mighty Sludgefeast, doing a set of
old stuff with a few surprises. With Gareth back in his rightful place on
the stool, they ripped through a handful of tunes pausing only to teach the
small children present some new swear words. I mentioned they sprung a few
surprises; well first off they did a three song medley from Andy's back catalogue,
the Zimmers' "Disappointed", Smug Pariah's "One Chord Song" and a song from
one of his little known (my favourite incidentally) solo side-projects, The
Shitz. This was "Mega-Armageddon Shit", which was Andy's take on the Electro
Hippies one-second classic "Mega-Armageddon Death". Personally I thought it
was a little long, it was over a second anyway, not including the count in,
and longer still than Napalm Death's "You Suffer" and the Descendents "All".
Sorry, Hardcore's my Mastermind Specialist Subject, I'm getting carried away,
back to the Feast: These Nazer tunes of yore were the cue for the man himself
to join them on stage, and so The Classic Feast Lineup was complete, if only
for one night. Another handful of tunes ensued, this time a selection of Andy's
own choosing. The highlight of these for me was the solo during "Christ's
Harmonica", in which James, in a brilliant flash of inspiration, produced
from his pocket not a harmonica but one of those party blowers that sound
like kazoos which, when you blow them, a paper tube unfurls. Impressive stuff
I'm sure you'll agree.
At the end of their set, James announced who would be following them. Seeing as half of us in attendance had been in bands with Andy at some point, it quickly became apparent how this evening was going to pan out.
First of all, James and Coirin left the stage and Andy and Gareth were joined
by Gav, Dave and I for a rare Gash appearance. God it's been a long time,
but, and even if I say so myself, if ever proof were needed of our considerable
talents, knowledge of Punk Rock and seemingly telepathic on-stage chemistry
(steady on! - ed), our swift despatch of "Neat Neat Neat" and "New Rose" with
the minimum of fuss laid waste to the doubters. With only a brief "'who starts
this one?', 'Dave!'" and "'who starts this one?, 'Gareth!'" as our cues, we
laughed long and loud in the face of rehearsals and crushed all before us
with our… ok, enough's enough, it could have sounded shit for all I know,
especially me, I couldn't hear fuck all with the amps up to 11 and no monitors!
Anyway,
who could possibly follow that? Not Badpenny in any case. Despite James' announcement
to the contrary, it didn't happen. All it would have taken was for Jason to
get up as Gareth and I left the stage, but alas not. So, time then to sample
the not inconsiderable gastronomic delights, supplied by Dave, which were
most epicurean. (it was a big buffet ok, and it was very nice)
The other complete Nazer band in attendance was his other current one, the Stand-Ins. Great stuff indeed, this time Andy singing and drumming, a mighty feat considering the pace of the songs, the fact he'd already played twice, and the small matter of the large number 40 hanging above the stage! Now, if I were to tell you I'd just seen a band who draw their inspiration from Pink Floyd, The Police and the Osmonds AND that I'd thoroughly enjoyed it, you'd be perfectly justified to slap me, throw water in my face and tell me to pull myself together. On another occasion involving someone other than the Stand-Ins you'd be right, but not this time. Even typing the words "Pink Floyd" is bringing me out in a rash, but with me being blissfully previously unaware of the song's existence (the name of which escapes me) they could have passed it off as their own, and that's a good thing. As for the Police cover, there wasn't a dry eye, or indeed seat, in the house following their moving and uplifting rendition of "Every Breath You Take", I'm still getting goosebumps thinking about it now… ho ho, just kidding! They did "Next To You", a great, and therefore little known Police old one, and arguably their best song ever. And again, this could just as easily have been passed off as one of The Stand-Ins own. But then of course we wouldn't have got Andy's little tirade against Sting, which added a couple more new words to the vocabulary of the small children in attendance! The other cover, played on demand as an encore, was unmistakable and brilliant: The Osmonds' "Crazy Horses". Menace turned to me and declared it the greatest cover version he's ever heard, along with Husker Du's "Eight Miles High", and though I'd add a few others, I totally agreed with him. With their musical appetites whetted, combined with a little inebriation no doubt, several took it upon themselves to carry on dancing to the tunes being played until this great night came to an end.
So that was that. A surprise party to end all surprise parties and in all honesty it couldn't have happened to a nicer feller.
Lav & Piss, Zombie 09/02/06
Click here for a full sized set of photos from the nite.
SUNDAY 30TH OCTOBER 2005
THE SUBHUMANS + SELF ABUSE + SPANNER + ROUTINE CHECK
THE FULL MOON, STOKES CROFT, BRISTOL
The words "will we actually make it?" were foremost in my mind as I boarded the Self Abuse U-Drive with half the band, Mr P 'The Roadie' and a small assortment of like-minded Punks (most of whom I barely knew, but what a great bunch). This wasn't due to a lack of faith in the driving abilities of Mr P and Andy (or Andi depending on which single you've got), or my navigational skills, or even the reliability of the transport. No, my fear, and I use that word in all seriousness, was that my presence might jinx the whole operation, as my numerous attempts to see the Subhumans over the past 20 years have all ended in failure. Cars breaking down, sold out venues, police intervention, finding out the gig was yesterday etc. Looking back it was perhaps unwise of me to point this out while we were still sat outside Bournemouth Central, so I apologise to anyone who suffered a nervous 80 or so miles.
Anyway, already I'm rambling and we haven't even left Bournemouth yet! An
uneventful journey ensued, punctuated by much reminiscing up front, and Andy's
much prized and treasured Leo Sayer cover version on the tape deck. We stopped
only to pick up third band member Dave from some building site or other, and
of course for the inevitable piss stop. The latter proving the old adage,
"why stop at a services a mere one mile on, when we can piss in a verge RIGHT
HERE?". The eagle eyed among you will be wondering "half the band plus Dave,
that's err…three, um, wait, where's Steve?!". Have no fear dear reader, he
made his own way down from Derby.
Here we are at The Full Moon, Stokes Croft, Bristol. Self Abuse was the first band to arrive. We were all, that's ALL, band member or otherwise, made to feel most welcome by landlord Wayne and promoter Maryanne. Some day, all gigs will be put on by people like them. Well, we can dream I suppose... However, a potential cloud was on my horizon. Within an hour of arriving, the band Spanner arrived and we knew Routine Check were on their way across from The Wales. That's one band unaccounted for and my worst fears detailed above were about to be realised, of this I was convinced. One phone call to Dick did nothing to put my mind at rest, he'd just woken up in Bath (it was approaching 5pm at this point, doors open at 6!) Bruce was still in Warminster and Trotsky was allegedly missing, van and equipment and all. If word got out about my jinx, I'd have been strung up from the tallest £250,000 flat bearing down on us from above the roundabout. So, it was with much pleasure and relief that I was able to tell Maryanne a big pale blue van was backing into the car park. Phew, and crappy Punk Rock puns aside, all systems go!
So I guess I should review the bands. As I write this, two days later and at work, my aches and bruises are the biggest memory of it, hence the pre-gig padding you gave up reading 5 minutes ago, but I'll give it a whirl. Blame Mr P, it was his idea for me to review it!
First up, Routine Check. Now, it's a cliché I know but while I can proudly proclaim like the rest of you that Punk Rock changed my life, my feet have been firmly planted in the Hardcore camp for many years now. Short, fast and loud rules, and this band smoked, though I don't think the majority shared my opinion. Opening band syndrome? I dunno, I really hope I'm wrong, but I got the impression it wasn't that or the fact they were too fast for some, but more because they didn't meet the traditional Punk or Crusty appearance criteria. I was stood on my own, but I'm certain I heard mutterings in that vein. If that's true, then we're fucked. Didn't Mr Lucas himself sing "the unity was there to see, a mass of non-conformity. There's something wrong, or is it me? We all look just the same"? That was what, 84, 85? Ho hum. Well I liked em, so do your own review if you didn't.
The
quest for food meant I missed the end of Routine Check and the first half
of Spanner. They too seemed like nice guys, and they went to town on the whole
Halloween thing, unlike 90% of everyone else in the place, me included. Musically?
Well the first thing I saw of them as I re-entered the building was their
dreaded trumpet player, so I knew they'd be ska-tinged before I heard a note.
Incidentally, what I meant there was a trumpet player with dreads, I'm not
scared of trumpets, nor indeed the man himself despite the zombie make-up.
I've had an on-off relationship with ska since I was at school, and though
it's not as much my bag as it once was on record at least, in a live environment
it's always great fun. Always seems to put a smile on the faces of the dancing
hoards and Spanner were no exception. Politically clued up too judging by
their stall.
Ladies
and gentlemen, put your hands together for Jarvis & the Self-Abusers! The
business of reforming many years later is a potentially dodgy one, it has
to be said. If you get it wrong it's one step up from tribute band hell. I
know I'm mates with them, particularly Andy and Dave, but they actually pull
it off. There's a lot of younger fans who won't remember, or perhaps weren't
born, the first time round which keeps it fresh and that certainly helps,
but they genuinely sound better than the old days and, crucially, they've
got some new tunes. Honourable mention for Noodles here, he got up and sang
State of Mind, and then went on to assist Andy later in the set when then
the old larynx started giving way. Andy will be hitting the Venos (for coughs!)
pretty hard between now and their imminent studio venture!
By my reckoning this was the fourth new-era gig for them, and for me at least it was the best one. I don't know whether the band thought it matched the Parkstone gig however. Unlike with Andy and Dave, I don't know how much Steve and Roger have played in the intervening years, but you wouldn't think they'd ever stopped. Roger did say to me beforehand he was under orders to keep a check on his intake of "the grog" (his words) and it seems he managed it! Though judging by the amount of times he saw fit to inform all on the bus that he'd "be alright", I'd suggest he more than made up for it afterwards… Back to the gig, there was one individual, who obviously knew his history, who kept shouting for Tube Disasters. Unfortunately it never materialised, though we were instead treated to one cover, the Siddy Cochran classic C'Mon Everybody. So anyway, top stuff and they went down a storm, long may the reunion continue.
So, the Subhumans then. I can scarcely believe I've finally seen them but it was worth the wait. You know all the songs and how great they are. They did a lot of my favourites, although Not Me, Society, Rain, People Are Scared and Walls Of Silence would have been nice, but you can't have everything and what other great songs would be sacrificed to accommodate them? It's the same as any "best of" I suppose, everyone's idea is different. What the hell, I picked up the live DVD at the gig so that makes up for it. Especially as my leaping about only lasted as long as Reality Is Waiting For A Bus before water and a breather were required. I heard afterwards that Mr P. had shouted for Cradle to the Grave and Susan, the cheeky monkey. Dick still sells those old live tapes though (wonder if he still uses those Agfa tapes?), so pick up USAT4 for a live version of the former, but I doubt a live recording of Susan exists! In-joke time: Susan without a pianist, if it ever came to light, would be the Speed Willy version…
Anyway, an awesome band, the only one I ever had painted on a jacket, and it's unforgivable that this gig didn't at least take me into double-figures. You can tell I'm struggling to remember much else… Not a lot else for me to say, though I guess I should point out there was a smattering of ex-Bournemouth faces in the crowd. Oh yeah, and there was a bloke with a mask on. Looked like a cross between Richard Nixon and Walter Matthau but with a moustache. Then I noticed the tea-towel on his head and realised it must have been Saddam Hussain… (Ed; i noticed the geezer in question here had 'out on parole' written badly on the back of his jacket, so there may have been a duel purpose for his halloween disguise !!)
Journey home was much in keeping with the one there, the reminiscing, the piss stop, the Leo Sayer cover version etc. The main differences being the dark, the tiredness, signs of drunkenness here and there, and we made it to the services for the piss stop this time. All in all a great day/night out, can I sum it up in a word? No. In a sound? Wooaarrgghh. Sorry I've been re-watching 'The Day Today' again recently, ta-ra ya shitters!
Lav 'n' piss, Zombie,
01/11/05
FRIDAY
17TH DECEMBER 2004
SELF ABUSE + DEMONIC UPCHUCKS
+ SPITROAST
MR SMITHS, BOURNEMOUTH
Its not often that I'm moved enough to review a gig
these days but this gig needs a mention. Imagine the scene if you can! Mr
Smiths, a small club in Bournemouth that just about holds 100 people filled
to capacity with expectant Punks young and not so young waiting for a band
that have not played live for almost twenty years to the day! Self Abuse take
the stage without any ceremony and kick off with 'Teenage', which really takes
the crowd by storm and from then on it was a signal to everyone that the last
twenty years of absence is unfinished business. Not many of you reading this
will be that familiar with Self Abuse and their songs but they play virtually
their entire catalogue with meaningful and melodic youthful exuberance. The
crowd is made to wait until the end for their 1983 'hit' - 'Soldier' but it's
worth it and the punks down the front go suitably nuts. They get called back
for a few more by the crowd at the end and treat us to an unrehearsed rendition
of the Flux Of Pink Indians anthem 'Tube Disasters' and give us one more blast
of 'Teenage'. A great night by the seaside is had by all and despite the geography
separating some band members I hope they keep going and get about a bit more
than they did the first time around.
Copyright Suspect Device Fanzine
WE
WANT YOUR PHOTO'S
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planning a massive online gallery of 'Self Abuse' photo's, flyers and the
like. We want your photo's both old and new of Self Abuse & the surrounding
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